Thursday, September 6, 2007

Cliff Notes on Sound Bytes

'Heaven now has a tenor'

CNN is making alot of assumptions here.
Number one that there is a Heaven and
Number two that it is a speedy process to get through the pearly
gates
Number three given the above shaky assumptions I will asume that he will pass the test.

Feds: 11 New Jersey officials arrested

I expect this out of New Jersey. If I lived
there I believe I would get arrested. Proves
once and for all that not pumping your own gas leads
to a life of vice and corruption.

Official: More than 40 killed by Felix

He is still a slob and always will be a slob...

Fred Thompson announces he's running

I believe on the Jay Leno show. That is so damn intersting
but I am not voting for him because he got in the race late,
Tardiness can not be tolerated in our government. Besides that
hes a bit of a dick and an drama queen.

Ticker: Oprah's power may rocket Obama

Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.
I am not reading the article so I will just assume they are sleeping
together. Good for him, hes a decent candidate he deserves the attention
and her.

Home foreclosures hit record

Only in America. Iraq has virtually none, we are winning the war on foreclosures.

Cop charged in police dog's hot car death

Nothing gets this country going like cruelity to animals. Probably should put Michael Vick in the Car and kill 2 stones with one bird.

Peeping Tom wants $10k porn stash back

Why are they all named Tom and Dude -its all on the Internet.

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